"I use the NME..."

It's Wednesday, so it must be NME Day.
Well, actually, the days have long gone when I would have pored fervently over every word in the NME and Melody Maker by Wednesday lunchtime, perhaps even re-reading the latest manifesto brought to you on behalf of the Louise Wener Party, a four-page epic on a day in the life of the Bluetones, or the green-crayon-scrawled screeds angrily dissecting the second verse of a new Manics B-side and whether Menswear really are the future of rock'n'roll or not... (You can answer that one yourself, though a recent revisit of mix-tapes from my stooodent days suggested they perhaps weren't quite as woeful as hazy memory had assured me...)

Sadly, the Maker has now gone to that great recycling bin in the sky, along with the excellent magazines Select and Vox - and the NME itself has dwindled into an over-priced, under-fed annoyance.

This little alternative seems good for a cheap snigger or two, at least...
The Morrissey spoof song titles especially:
1. Don't Make Fun Of Daddy's Girdle
2. Don't Put The Knife In The Butter Until You've Cut The Cheese
3. Elvis '68 Comeback Special
4. Messageboard Hatecrime Incident
5. There Is A Man That Never Goes Out
6. You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here (But It Helps)
7. Satan Has Forgiven Jesus
8. Frankly My Dear, That Dress Is A Little Unbecoming