At number one is Robbie Keane...

At number two is Robbie Keane,
At number three is Robbie Keane,
At number four is Robbie Keane,

At number five is Robbie Keane,
At number six is Robbie Keane,
At number seven is Robbie Keane,
At number eight is Robbie Keane,

At number nine is Robbie Keane,
At number ten is Robbie Keane,
At number eleven is Robbie Keane,
At number twelve is Robbie Keane...

All I want is a team of Robbie Keanes,
A team of Robbie Keanes, a team of Robbie Keanes.
All I want is a team of Robbie Keanes,
A team of Robbie Keanes, a team of Robbie Keanes...

(Repeat until fade / Keano somehow staggers us through into the Champions League / every Spurs supporter has been carted off to the North Middlesex Hospital with a coronary - whichever happens first...)

Mind you, Robbie not only saved Spurs tonight (just about).
He also redeemed a ref who was simply baffling throughout - had the goalkeeper, already leniently indulged for blatant time-wasting and somehow saved from the most obvious of red cards, saved that late penalty, there might just have been a riot...

Though it could have been even worse than that. The keeper might have been sent off, only to be replaced between the sticks by our own keeper's namesake - the Albion left-back Paul Robinson - who would then turn away the penalty and be celebrated in tomorrow's Super Soaraway Sun as "England's Number One?"

But still, all's well that end's well (for now), after a deliriously-dramatic night at the Lane...
Ouch, my heart hurts.

"And the Spurs go tottering on..."