Typical, innit...


... as the shutters get ready to close on the transfer window, and every other club is rushing to introduce expensive new signings, Spurs call a Press conference to unveil: a new badge...

Actually, I do like it. Very old-school, as the nicely-written accompanying announcement explains... Okay, so the football looks a little more like a basketball, or even a beachball, but apparently that's what they used to look like - and indeed, still do, as the cock-and-balls made out of gold and perched on top of the White Hart Lane stadium would attest...

And I don't buy some few's criticism that the new Cockerel looks more suited to appearing on a box of Cornflakes. Compare him to the lackadaisical, sloppy unprofessional fowl on the old badge (dating back to Scholar in the 1980s, lest we forget, as opposed to some age-old traditional emblem...), and this one looks slightly more impressive. And can obviously trap and control a ball more confidently than Goran Bunjevcevic...

There had been speculation the 'Audere est Facere' of the old badge would be replaced by an English translation, 'To dare is to do'. I'm glad that has happened, not simply for the old dumbing-down argument but because it looked unnecessary and naff. But again, the 'Audere est facere' was a Scholar addition, making this Guardian take on the new badge utterly, utterly senseless and snidey. A quote from someone totally unconnected with the club, about something no-one else seems to be raising, and bringing in oh-so-switched-on namechecking of a player who's never played for Tottenham. Apart from all that, top journalism...

But anyway. I would much prefer a new £10million centre-forward or left-winger, of course.

Is this badge going to score us goals while Mido is playing in the African Nations' Cup? Or manage to burst into at least a jog with a little more urgency than the ponderous Andy Reid? Or manage to use its left foot at least once in a game, ie. once more than our strangely wrong-footed left-back Lee Young-Pyo?

Well, would be nice to imagine so. An increasingly-surreal conversation while watching last Saturday's defeat at Liverpool managed to dwell at baffling length on the benefits of playing a whale at left-back, to show more mobility and at least obstructive bulk to confront any overlapping opponents.

Though, thinking about it, perhaps it would make more sense just to plonk the whale right in front of our goal. Well, it's a tactic which has never been tried before in the English game, to the best of my knowledge...

Perhaps this unlikely visitor has come to London for a trial...?

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